I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.